Decided to add a cat

So after alot of discussion Charlie and I have finally agreed to get a kitten, we decided to get a Sphynx or a Bengal. We have informed Nolan of us going to inquire about kittens and all he could say was that he wanted to name it horse, I don't know where he got horse from but if that's what he wants then we are going to  consider it.  We are now in the process of looking for a breeder and whatever one we think is a good fit for us, we will then put a deposit down for a kitten.  It's been really hard lately to get Charlie on the same page as me for disciplining Nolan, I don't want to be the parent that spanks or yells at him. I use the naughty stair and it works really well for Nolan, he realizes that what he was doing is not OK and he doesn't do it again until he forgets about it. But Charlie would rather raise his voice to him and I really don't like it, I grew up in a household that all my mom did was yell and cuss at us and I really don't want Nolan growing up like that. I have tried to explain to Charlie just tell him no calmly and move him to the naughty stair but Charlie just goes and says hes too tired from work. I feel am starting to feel like in away this might have been a mistake to come down here after only a 3 week visit with him since he moved back to Georgia from Canada. I want Nolan to have the best possible childhood and not have one like Charlie or I had growing up, it's also getting to me that Charlies parents don't want Nolan disciplined around them "because it's time to visit with them not be punished" is what we have been told. Well first of all they have a pool and hot tub that is at ground level and all Nolan has to do is loose his balance and go head first in the pool, and I don't care how much money they have if Nolan is ruining something that belongs to them I am going to discipline him for it because it's not OK to destroy stuff. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place because all I want is for our family to be together but I am feeling almost like I have no say in how my son is raised due to their laziness and views.  I am also getting annoyed at the fact that Charlies parents bought the house we live in and his car and pay all the bills, I am fine with that whats annoying is that they think they have the right to tell me when the wedding is going to be and who all is coming. NEWS FLASH I am the type of person if I am told all the plans that have to do with our wedding that I am just going to wear the most fucked up outfit possible, I have no issue going and getting married in my bathrobe just to prove a point. This wedding was supposed to be and eloping type of deal and now it's all the family is coming and all this shit. I will prove them they cannot boss me around like they do their son, I am not some push over whos gonna bow down to someone just because they have money.