Trying not to think

Today was a small step for me I finally told my one friend, She was quite surprised and asked me why I would leave my family and friends as they are my support system. I had no answer only that I want my son to know his father. I am going to see my sister I think I am going to try and figure out a way to muster up the courage and tell her, Hopefully she takes it a bit better. I can't stop worrying about the what if's, what if we just don't connect it will have been 4 months since seeing each other, What if, What if, What if? I know I cannot base it on the what if's but man when one come fifty more follow. I pray I am making the right decision because if not and I come back I have to start from the bottom again and work my way up, I pray my family doesn't hate me and can forgive me for leaving, It's not like I will never talk to them again or see them again. I have been exceptionally blessed to have some of the most amazing family members any one could ever ask for! One day at a time cause for me and living in Canada it's running out so i better hurry up and figure this out.