So I think I found a new home for the cats, my mom oh so kindly left at my house when I was away. I am hoping that the people come through as I don't want to just drop them off at a shelter. Today Nolan decided he was going to try and make his own food, he got into everything. So I saw my friend Melanie today, She has been with me through a lot in my life and I think her and Jodi will be the ones I have the hardest time saying goodbye to out of my friends. She has a young son who is 3 weeks older than Nolan, He is so cute and Nolan loves playing with him. It's weird to think that i only have less than a month left in Canada, I have told Charlie that I will be coming back this coming Christmas so my family can spend it with Nolan, Seeing as his family got to spend this Christmas with him.
I still cannot fathom not being able to walk or take the bus over to my grandmas and spend the day with them laughing, or call her to make up some story so we can go out and just shop together. I will miss my cottage and the long drives up there with my uncle, the heart to hearts we have and the laughter we share. Going down the driveway singing at the top of my lungs so I don't get eaten by a bear, or going across the road with him and shitting my pants at every little noise in the bush. Looking at the pictures of the animals that came to the feeder for the corn, It's the little things that I totally took for granted that I am going to miss the most.
Watching how Nolan grows up and bonds with Sam and Georgia their dogs, I cannot bond with them I tried it hurts to much and makes me think of Finster and Rama, they were the most amazing dogs I ever knew. I still cannot look at a German Sheppard with out getting teary eyed.
When Nolan and I go to walk into a Walmart, Nolan is going to expect to see my grandpa waiting their to give him a sticker as he greets us. I don't think I could have gotten any more blessed than what I am when it comes to my family, everything that I have been through with them has made me stronger and a way better person.
I am going to pay 2 extra months of rent just so that if I cannot deal with living in Georgia, I still have a house to call my own. I want to be happy and have a proper family I don't want Nolans father living in a different country.
But if it makes me miserable I am stuck on what the proper solution would be. Do I just put on a brave face? Do I come running home to the people I love and the people who have always been there for me? Do I just suck it up and look at it as it's probably better for Nolan in the long run? So many questions and I cannot ask the people who I care about the most for help on the answers as they don't want me to move.
I am a winter person not a fan of the heat at all I am the person who stays in all summer and comes out to play in the winter. There is no winter in Georgia, I am sorry but Christmas is not Christmas with out snow. I am going to bake and possibly wither up dehydrated due to the crazy ass heat. OHHHHHHH what to do?
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